Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
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