Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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