Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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