I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
BRING THE BAGELS
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
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