If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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