Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
