i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
we're making bets on your personal life
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
