Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
