She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
