I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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