The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
