How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
