I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He better not be in your backpack
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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