I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
