Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I am available for nakedness
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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