If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
