I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
