oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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