Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
