i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
She announced her abortion via fbk
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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