He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
