the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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