You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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