dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
