i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
