I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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