This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
