No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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