moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Randomize
