I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I CAN MOONWALK!
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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