there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
