we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
What happened to fro yo and sex?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize
