oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
