Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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