i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
