I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
