Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
