remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
