Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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