easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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