it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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