we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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