K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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