theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
