They have a pepper shaker for pot.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
