I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
My feet surprised me
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