i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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