are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
