Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
i believe in u and ur pee
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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