Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
